Parents, waste some time with your kids, because time wasted with your kids is an investment you will never regret. Not every moment you spend with your children needs to be carefully planned or rehearsed. Go fishing. Play a video game. Go for a walk or take a bike ride.
I like to plan family things. I get excited about holidays and vacations. Christmas plans are goals in my mind that can never be achieved in real life. But, the times that make the most impact in my kids lives are often unplanned and unrehearsed.
There are certain things that parents should do on purpose. Parents should pray with their kids. Parents should engage in devotions with their kids. Parents should read to their kids. Parents should regularly say, “I love you,” and a whole litany list of other things that parents should do. Intenionality is a necessity for parenting.
But, in our effort to be intentional, we can sometimes lose the joy and the benefit of unintentional investment in our kids.
Not everything that matters in your parenting needs to be planned out or scheduled. Many of the most impactful experiences you will have with your kids will not be planned. In those unplanned moments, they will see how you react to failure. In those unplanned moments, they will discover whether you run to Jesus in hard times or run to yourself. In unplanned moments, your kids will learn whether they matter more than your plans or your sense of control. And, in those unplanned moments, you may just discover something about yourself and your kids that you couldn’t have known otherwise.
Parenting is hard work. There is always something to be completed, fixed, prepared, or planned for. It can be exhausting. In fact, when my kids ask why they have to go to bed I have been known to respond, “I love you, but I’m tired of parenting you tonight. You can go read a book if you would like, but you’re going to bed.”
Parenting is hard. Don’t make it harder by believing the lie that everything has to be planned or intentional. Say yes occasionally when they ask for candy. Wake up on Saturday without a plan and enjoy the day. Stay up late because the football game goes into overtime. Hold them when they cry because something bad happened at school. Answer their questions–even though they seem to never end.
I have an 8th grader. That means that in 4 years, I’ll have a senior in high school and will be planning for him to move out of the house. I can’t script every moment with him or with my other three kids. But, I can work to make the most out of each moment I get, even when that moment wasn’t planned or prepared.
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