Friendship Is Forged In The Fire

One of the best remembered scenes from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is the knife fight between Butch and Harvey Logan. As the story goes, the gang is tired of Butch’s leadership and Harvey emerges as the favorite to lead the Hole in the Wall Gang.

Only, Butch stands in the way. Butch is happy with the status quo, with the way things are, but Harvey is determined to fight, so he gives Butch the choice: “Guns or knives?”

If you’ve never watched the movie (or if you’ve seen it dozens of times), watch the clip above. My favorite part isn’t the perfectly timed kick, the double fisted knock out blow, or even Butch’s word of thanks to Flatnose: “That’s what sustained me in my time of trouble.”

My favorite aspect of this scene is the interplay between Butch (Paul Newman) and Sundance (Robert Redford). After Butch is challenged to a knife fight, the outcome seems pre-determined. Harvey is the favorite to win the fight and kill Butch. However, Sundance is committed to his friend even though his friend is sorely outmatched:

Butch: “Maybe there’s a way to make a profit in this. Bet on Logan.”

Sundance: “I would, but then who’d bet on you?”

It might not be too much to say that a friend is one who bets on you when no one else will. Someone once said that a friend runs in when everyone else runs out. Friendship is forged in the fire.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Without struggle, strife, and adversity, you won’t ever really know who your friends are. You may find friends in good times, but it is in the hard times that friendships are forged and bonds are strengthened.

Much is written and said of the struggles of friendship in the 21st Century. In fact, one man, Bill Baker, claims that the lack of friends is the biggest threat facing middle-age men. There are lots of reasons. Baker points out that one of the primary reasons is simply that men do not prioritize friendships.

But, perhaps one of the greatest reasons that men lack quality friendships is that they have not invited anyone into their struggle. The picture of the strong John Wayne figure who doesn’t need anyone is powerful in American life. But, it is fiction, and it is dangerous. We need others. And, believe it or not, the greatest friendships are going to be forged, not over coffee, but over struggle and strife.

Soldiers can tell these stories because they have bled with other men. Even athletes can tell these stories because they have struggled beside teammates aiming for the same goal. Why is CrossFit such a huge phenomenon and why are CrossFit junkies so annoying (kidding, really…)? Because they have struggled, strained, sweated, bled, and puked with other people. They have learned that there is victory in the struggle and their friendships have been forged with blood, sweat, and tears.

Personally, today I maintain close friendships with men I had fist fights with in high school. We were friends when we fought. Oddly, we were better friends when it was over.

Why? A brother is born for adversity and friends love at all times. In the adversity and the “all times” our friendships are stretched and strengthened.

There is a friendship epidemic (or is it a pandemic?) in our culture. Online communities won’t fix it, because the computer doesn’t offer you a shoulder to cry on when you are broken or an arm to hold you up when you are weak. We need friends. Man (and woman) was not made to live alone. God has created us to live in relationship, not only romantic relationships, but friendships.

Several years ago, a comedian on SNL claimed that Jesus’ greatest miracle may have been the ability to have 12 best friends in adulthood. I know that Jesus did much more, but his model of friendship should be one that we strive for. There is safety and security in numbers.Do you have friends? If not, get busy today. You need friends, and you will discover, your future friends need you too.

Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ephesians 4:12).

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