There is a buffet drawer in our foyer filled with tablecloths. I don’t know how many there are, but I’m sure there are more than five. There are all different sizes and shapes of tablecloths. I know we have a green one, one has snowflakes. One isn’t even a tablecloth at all, it is a table runner.
To be honest, tablecloths in our house are primarily for guests, special occasions, and anytime we eat at the dining room table instead of the kitchen table. Our kitchen table is filled with scratches and scrapes and homework scars. The dining room table is regularly polished and decorated. Therefore, tablecloths on the dining room table serve two purposes: they beautify, and they protect.
There is a good chance that if you come to my house for dinner, you will find a tablecloth on the dining room table. If you peek under that tablecloth, you will find a pad that protects the table under the tablecloth. That pad is pretty special, and only special guests in our home get to see the table pad.
The table pad used to be white. Now you would say it is more like a white canvas upon which our kids have projected their artwork for fifteen years. The table pad is covered in maker, paint, pen marks, and probably Pla-Doh crumbs. A few years ago, I noticed something else.
On our formerly white table pad is the outline of a picture frame. It is obvious that the table pad was the backdrop for an intense crafting session where the paint ran off the edges of the picture frame. But, in the outline of that picture frame is written in perfect handwriting these words, “Picture frames with Brooke.”
Brooke is our kids’ former babysitter and one of our favorite people on the planet. When I saw that inscription, I snapped a quick picture and texted it to Brooke and her husband and accused her of plastering our table protector with graffiti. But, I was wrong. Brooke didn’t write her name, one of our kids wrote her name in the margin of a messy craft as a reminder. Our kids wanted to remember the day they painted with Brooke, so they memorialized their mess with a Sharpie.
What does that story have to do with anything? If you come to my house, you will probably not see that table pad. You will see a tablecloth, but you will have no idea of the memories plastered underneath your plate. The tablecloth you see will serve as a reminder to you that you mattered enough for us to make you feel at home.
But, if you are a certain kind of person—someone with a certain degree of familiarity in our home, you won’t actually get a tablecloth. You will get something better. You’ll be served (or maybe you’ll serve yourself) on the table pad. On that pad you will see Brooke’s name, and Aubrey’s handwriting. You’ll see Sloan’s fingerprints and Brooklyn’s creativity. You might even see a place where Wyatt colored outside the lines or where Angela spilled some glitter.
Certain people walk into our home, and they aren’t greeted with tablecloths to cover our messes and scars. These people walk into our home and are met with memories and messes. Brooke might never get served on a tablecloth in our home because I always want to be reminded when she is with us that she loved our kids enough to make little messes and create memories.
The effort to turn our house into a home comes in starts and stops and it is filled with mistakes and messes. I write of a tablecloth, but I could mention cracked glasses or chipped sheetrock. Our boys share a very large bedroom complete with an indoor basketball goal and makeshift baseball games. One day, they’ll grow up and I’ll have to repair some sheetrock and re-paint the ceiling. But until then, if you come into our home, you’ll be reminded that boys live in that room, and they live loud.
You have to choose what you want your home to be. Using your home as a base for mission and ministry will mean that many people will walk in scarred and wounded. You have an opportunity for your home to either make them feel welcome and safe, or out of place.
Do you have couches where no one is allowed to sit, or does your furniture exist to make people comfortable? Have you created spaces where your kids or grandkids or neighbors can be creative and cozy? Do you want a home that is featured on magazine covers, or do you want a home where memories are made and kept and lives can be put back together.
If you can’t have both (and you probably can’t), which one will you choose and what choices will you make to create the home of your dreams?
Feel free to get out the fine china and the good silverware. But, don’t worry if some of it is chipped or tarnished. Your tables and tablecloths and walls may be covered in scratches and scars, but so are you and so will be the people you welcome in. Don’t be afraid to let people see the imperfections in your home and your life. You may just help them to heal from their own scars.
Photo by Libby Penner on Unsplash
