A Pastor Looks at 40

I turn 40 next week. 40. It is true, some have mistaken me for much older and some have even thought Angela was my daughter. So, in some ways it is like I have been at least 40 for a while now, but the actual birthdate is next week. On Wednesday, February 3, 2021, I will celebrate the 40th anniversary of my birth.

Thinking of that milestone has caused me to spend some time in reflection and nostalgia. For instance, I’m listening to even more 90’s music than normal and have reached out to a few of my old high school friends just to catch up.

My reminiscing has even caused me to ask questions like, “What would I say to my 18 year old self,” but I won’t bore you with that.

Instead, as I stare 40 in the face, I’m contemplating what my 18 year old self would say to me today. In other words, as I look back over the last 22 years, have things turned out the way that I hoped at 18?

Yes and no. At 18, I planned to teach high school science and coach high school football. As it turned out, I did coach football a few years along the way, but I never took a science class after high school. At 18, I always imagined I would return to my hometown, but as I approach 40, I find that home became the place where my wife and kids are, not the place where I grew up. At 18, I assumed that my high school friends would be with me forever. At 40, there are only 3 or 4 people from my high school with whom I speak regularly.

If I told my 18 year old self that I hadn’t accomplished the goals I set for myself then, my 18 year old self might be a bit disappointed. But, at 40, I now know that my 18 year old self had many of the most important things figured out, even if life didn’t go exactly according to plan.

Here is a list of lessons I knew by 18 that have carried me to 40:

1. Jesus comes first. I haven’t always lived up to that commitment, but it has always been a commitment and it has kept me grounded and safe.
2. God’s word will always be there and it will always be true. Read it.
3. Family and friends matter. So, go to the movies when your friends call, you won’t regret it.
4. You can go home again, even if it is only to eat dinner with your parents.
5. Sports teach more than athletic skill and a good coach will be with you for life.
6. Halloween is a speed bump on the way to real holidays. Forget the costumes and turn on the Christmas music.
7. Hard work pays off, regardless of where life leads you. I am not a science teacher or a football coach, but the same work ethic needed in those areas pays off for me as a pastor.
8. A good weight room will cure most of your problems. An olympic bar is always 45 lbs and the weights never change. No matter what is happening in the world around me, picking up heavy things and putting them down makes life a little more bearable.
9. Crying is OK, occasionally.
10. You really need a home church.

If I could, I would go back and tell my 18 year old self many things like the value of black coffee (when I was 18, I only drank gas station cappuccino) and how incredibly wonderful it is to be married to a great woman. But, I’m very thankful that many of the lessons that I learned by the time I reached 18 were enough to propel me forward in the decades to come. In other words, at 18, I had a good foundation.

Turning 40 is easier because of the mistakes I didn’t make at 16, 18, and 25. Turning 40 is easier because there were a whole lot of people who invested in my life before I turned 18. Turning 40 is easier because some 40 year olds made a difference in a teenager 25 years ago.

I’m going to turn 40 next week. I don’t know all that the future holds, but I look forward to serving the Lord in the years to come. As it turns out, 40 isn’t that bad. I can’t run as fast and I have a few more pains. But, at 40, I get to watch my kids run faster than I did and I have learned to love and minister in ways I never imagined possible. At 40, I know the value of investing in kids and teenagers. At 40, God is bigger than I could have imagined at 18, 25, or 30. At 40, I better understand my own sin and a more thankful for God’s grace.

Proverbs 16:31 says, “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” I have gray hair and a gray beard, but I’m not ashamed and I’m not depressed. I’m going to turn 40 next week. But, I don’t have time for a midlife crisis. There is work to do, a God to serve, a family to lead, and a Great Commission to fulfill. In God’s grace, I pray that there are another 40 years of gospel faithfulness ahead of me.

40 years brings reflection. But, reflection doesn’t have to mean regression. Let’s get busy.

Photo by Ksenia Kudelkina on Unsplash